Author: Alexander Abad-Santos

The World Will Not Forget George Zimmer — We Guarantee It

Men's Wearhouse

Today in viral videos: a fitting farewell to the man who founded Men's Warehouse, a catalog of history's most unfortunate and noteworthy deaths, and a couple of pets so well-trained that it's very disturbing.

By Alexander Abad-Santos

Jun 19, 2013

The Re-Invention of Miss Utah Will Be Televised

In a series of interviews in the wake of her "create education better" gaffe, Marissa Powell's self-effacing sense of humor — and actually pretty intelligent thoughts on the gender pay gap — have given us exactly what the pageant industry needs: a redemption story, a conversation about beauty and brains, and a re-thinking of just how hard it is to answer tough questions under the spotlight.

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By Alexander Abad-Santos

Jun 19, 2013

If the FBI Never Kills Anyone by Mistake, Why Kill Tsarnaev's Maybe-Accomplice?

If past statistics of the agency's internal examinations hold, expect the FBI to fully justify Ibragim Todashev's killing just before he was about to peacefully sign a confession as Tsarnaev's accomplice to a triple murder — even though it's taking a suspiciously long time to do so.

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By Alexander Abad-Santos

Jun 18, 2013

It Takes 'Morning Joe' to Make Russell Brand Likeable

Today in viral videos: Russell Brand gets sympathetic, 50 (completely unscientific) ways to trick people into thinking you're smarter than you are, and summer treat from Disney. 

Comments | 7,012 Views

By Alexander Abad-Santos

Jun 18, 2013

China's Pervert Repellant Stockings Might Be the Greatest Joke Weibo Ever Played

The results are undeniable. These stockings, which are made to look like a pair of very hairy legs, induce groans, nausea, and physical discomfort and according to Weibo they're the best deterrent to cat calls and objectification that the country has to offer. There's one problem if you want a pair though—they're probably an elaborate joke. 

Comments | 438 Views

By Alexander Abad-Santos

Jun 18, 2013

North Korea Says NSA Spying Makes the U.S. a 'Kingpin of Human Rights Abuses'

North Korea, land of gulags, government-enforced information blackouts, and humans so hungry they eat other humans, has finally weighed in on the NSA-spying controversy and has become ... an advocate for American civil liberties. 

Comments | 657 Views

By Alexander Abad-Santos

Jun 18, 2013

GOP Congressman Wants to Ban Abortion to Save Masturbating Fetuses

In a preview of the many pronouncements to come on the floor of Congress as the House debates a legislative ban on all abortions after 20 weeks, allow us to introduce you to Rep. Michael Burgess, who believes that abortion should be banned earlier than the Supreme Court says it should because, in part, he knows fetuses feel pain. He knows this because he says he's seen male fetuses begin masturbating in the womb around 15 weeks into a pregnancy.

Comments | 44,041 Views

By Alexander Abad-Santos

Jun 18, 2013

What's Behind Brazil's Stunning Protests?

The scenes continuing to emerge from Rio to Brasilia and back again are not entirely unlike what we've seen in Turkey of late, and like the fight over Taksim Square that morphed into a bigger argument against the prime minister, the protests in Brazil over a single bus-fare hike have transformed into a passionate protest against government corruption, tear gas and all.

Comments | 5,916 Views

By Alexander Abad-Santos

Jun 17, 2013

This Chinese Cargo Loader Does Not Care About Your Fragile Things

Today in viral videos: the myth of "handle with care" gets busted, a monkey that's ready to grab you a drink, and a Google+ ad that will make you feel bad about not using Google+ enough. 

Comments | 2,191 Views

By Alexander Abad-Santos

Jun 17, 2013

Feds Are Out for 7-Eleven in 'Modern Day Plantation' Immigrant Abuse Ring

A disgusting plot involving the smuggling of Pakistani immigrants, stealing their wages, and forcing them to pay for housing was busted by federal agents in New York and Virginia. This is going to look very bad for your local Slurpee shop, and the great bodega takeover of New York City.

Comments | 4,601 Views

By Alexander Abad-Santos

Jun 17, 2013

The Summer's Best (and Most Difficult) Cookbooks

I have no idea where to even begin the process of procuring an 8-pound half of a pig's head. As I typed "half pig head ... New York" into Google, I couldn't help but feel that Franny's: Simple, Seasonal, Italian, which is being lauded as one of this season's best cookbooks, was belligerently lying to me about the "simple" part.

Comments | 876 Views

By Alexander Abad-Santos

Jun 17, 2013

The Supreme Court Decided Your Silence Can Be Used Against You

A nation continues to wait for final word on the Supreme Court's Big Four cases, but the justices' closest call arrived first on Monday, in a ruling that just made your right to remain silent a lot more complicated — just ask Dzhokhar Tsarnaev.

Comments | 38,563 Views

By Alexander Abad-Santos

Jun 17, 2013

Sarah Palin's Triumphant Return to Fox

Sarah Palin, former governor of Alaska and failed vice presidential hopeful, visited Fox & Friends this morning, and the show pulled out all the stops for its old star: booking Sen. Ted Cruz, waking up afternoon anchor Megyn Kelly to guest-host, and showcasing some tricked-out RVs. We watched so you didn't have to.

Comments | 2,191 Views

By Alexander Abad-Santos

Jun 14, 2013

Here Is $250,000 Worth of Speeches, Thank Us Later

While you waste the last drips of this Friday afternoon at your desk, just know there's someone out there who is much more famous than you, is much less deserving than you, and gets paid more than some people make a year to talk about motivational things for about half an hour. The gory, torturous details are all in the latest issue of The New Republic.

Comments | 438 Views

By Alexander Abad-Santos

Jun 14, 2013

Lululemon Is Looking for a Powerful (Maybe Satanic?) Leader

Lululemon, purveyor of crotch-flashing yoga wear, is looking for a new CEO after Christine Day stepped down this week.  They placed an ad looking for the position that is looking for someone who will "wear The Mansy to lead our company-wide morning chant and kombucha ritual" to lead their company. They're joking ... we hope?

Comments | 876 Views

By Alexander Abad-Santos

Jun 14, 2013

Snowden Is Using 'Specific' Evidence of the U.S. Hacking China to Stay Out of Jail

We knew Snowden had new information about hacking, but new reports today suggest that he has targets — and that they may affect diplomatic relations as the leaker seeks to put off extradition back home.

Comments | 4,382 Views

By Alexander Abad-Santos

Jun 14, 2013

You Paid $100 Million for Obama's Trip to Africa & You Won't Even Get a Photo

The Obamas' vacation could cost taxpayers in the vicinity of $100 million for hundreds of Secret Service agents, 14 bulletproof limos, and much, much more, but there is more important outrage: We're not even going to get another awesome picture of a president on safari!

Comments | 8,764 Views

By Alexander Abad-Santos

Jun 13, 2013

Can You Tell the Difference Between a Cosmo Sex Tip and a Reddit Sex Tip?

The intrepid self-proclaimed sex savants at Cosmopolitan took a subtle dig at the Internet netizens at Reddit by insinuating in a recent listicle that the "ultra-nerds" there have no idea how to handle sexy times with a woman. That went over about as well as you might have expected. But is Cosmo really that much better at giving sex advice than your neighborhood Redditor? Play our fun interactive game and find out.

Comments | 42,946 Views

By Alexander Abad-Santos

Jun 13, 2013

Who Has the Advantage with the Silencing of the Trayvon Jury?

Judge Debra Nelson ordered the deciders-in-waiting to be sequestered for the length of the trial, in a kind of side jab at the defense potentially signaling that she is unwilling to let George Zimmerman's attorneys sway objectivity with a public smearing of Martin's past. But this may not be a direct blow to Team Zimmerman.

Comments | 4,163 Views

By Alexander Abad-Santos

Jun 13, 2013

The SCOTUS Affirmative Action Ruling Is Still Delayed, and Isn't That Big a Deal

The Supreme Court announced one ruling of relative landmark status on Thursday — on gene patenting — but the justices kept America in waiting on three key issues on which it still holds the key to the future: gay marriage, the Voting Rights Act, and affirmative action. The latter of those, well, the wait will last longer than the end of the Court's spring term later this month.

Comments | 2,182 Views

By Alexander Abad-Santos

Jun 13, 2013

Police Just Raided the Complex Where Rob Ford's Video Might've Been Stashed

Just before dawn on Thursday morning, the authorities raided the sketchy apartment northwest Toronto complex where the mayor's (alleged!) crack-smoking video may have been stashed — and where rival Somali drug gangs have reportedly been at political war with each other over the missing tape, fake videos starring a Ford lookalike named Slurpy and all. This is getting bonkers.

Comments | 876 Views

By Alexander Abad-Santos

Jun 12, 2013

Science: Your Legos Are Getting Angrier

Lego figurines are increasingly being designed to look full of "anger" and "disdain," according to a group of New Zealand researchers. But before you throw the building blocks out with the bathwater and lose all faith in humanity over a long-time childhood staple, there's a logical explanation for why Legos are bringing out the bad in people. And it involves Harry Potter.

Comments | 1,315 Views

By Alexander Abad-Santos

Jun 12, 2013

France's Flamboyant, Shirtless Anti-Gay Protesters Are Eyeing the Tour de France

The most exciting part of Rafael Nadal winning the French Open championship on Sunday was that the delay caused by a fit, shirtless, masked man who jumped past security and ran around the tennis court with a flare in hand.

Comments | 17,967 Views

By Alexander Abad-Santos

Jun 12, 2013

The Oldest Person Alive Olympics Are Heating Up

The absurd global claim to citizenship of the world's oldest person took a sad turn on Tuesday as Japan's 116-year-old Jiroemon Kimura, the oldest living human on Earth (officially) passed away.

Comments | 3,287 Views

By Alexander Abad-Santos

Jun 12, 2013

Belgian Awful: Ambassador's Prostitute Excuse Won't Help State's Coverup Case

The sexiest of the Foggy Bottom probes — all of which State Department officials are trying to explain away — has to do with the U.S. ambassador to Belgium, who "routinely ditched" his own bodyguards to "solicit sexual favors," including from minors. And now that Ambassador is calling his prostitution allegations "baseless" in part because ... he lives in "a beautiful park in Brussels."

Comments | 5,257 Views

By Alexander Abad-Santos

Jun 11, 2013

The 5-Minute Hater's Guide to Superman

Today in viral videos: Everything that's wrong with the man of steel, a PSA that would do KStew some good, and 100 compliments that will make you feel better about yourself. Also: Daft Punk travels through time.

Comments | 4,117 Views

By Alexander Abad-Santos

Jun 11, 2013

George Zimmerman's Jury Selection May Come Down to the News Jurors Read

Of particular interest to attorneys on both sides is how much these 10 already over-scrutinized men and women mopped up from the ink spilled in the nearly 16 months since Trayvon Martin's shooting — and, of increasing importance, how many of the stories leaked in the last few weeks they've vacuumed into their objective consciousness.

Comments | 437 Views

By Alexander Abad-Santos

Jun 11, 2013

China Loves Their Astronauts More Than the U.S. Loves Theirs

Quick, name an American who's currently on the International Space Station. (No cheating.) Tough, right? Part of that is due to astronauts not getting much fanfare these days unless they literally put on a song-and-dance routine. But that isn't the case in China however, where the astronauts aboard the just-launched Shenzou-10 spacecraft are the nation's biggest celebrities.

Comments | 219 Views

By Alexander Abad-Santos

Jun 11, 2013

NYC Summers Will Be Hot and Nasty for Decades and You Can Blame the Oceans

Just when you thought it couldn't get any more gross, a report from city officials due out today insists that the hot mess is just beginning — and that Alabama-level summers are on the way to the Big Apple. Yes, this has to do with climate change.

Comments | 874 Views

By Alexander Abad-Santos

Jun 10, 2013

So Bob Benson Is Definitely Gay, Right? An Investigation

No matter whether you're trusting the conspiracy theorists, the recappers, or Matthew Weiner this season, Mad Men's big gay subplot probably won't get resolved that simply in the last two episodes. So what do you believe? And what does this mean about next season? Let's just say this gets more meta than ever.

Comments | 21,429 Views

By Alexander Abad-Santos

Jun 10, 2013

Maybe Shia LaBeouf Was Right About the NSA All Along

Today in viral videos: A Shia is (sort of) redeemed, the awesomeness of burning liquid oxygen, and the day Tiago Splitter's basketball career died.

Comments | 7,640 Views

By Alexander Abad-Santos

Jun 10, 2013

How to Wait for the Big Supreme Court Decisions Like a Pro

This morning, like they will for the rest of this month's Monday mornings, Supreme Court watchers waited for decisions in the big Prop. 8, DOMA, and affirmative action cases only to get an inconclusive ruling about raisins. But never fear, we're here with a guide on when those bigger decisions are expected and why you should start circling the week of June 24 for those potentially historic gay rights decisions.

Comments | 1,745 Views

By Alexander Abad-Santos

Jun 10, 2013

Home News From Afar

Here's What China Thinks of Ed Snowden and the NSA

From Washington to Hong Kong and back again, a lot of people are saying Snowden made a mistake in picking his hideout. But what are the Chinese papers saying about their 29-year-old Deep Throat in residence? And do they have any more news on his extradition? Also: Where is this guy anyway?

Comments | 9,813 Views

By Alexander Abad-Santos

Jun 10, 2013

Trayvon's Voice, the Bicycle Bums, and a Video Zimmerman Needs You to Believe

Jury selection for George Zimmerman's second-degree murder trial begins today, and in yet another controversial move seeking to prove their client's justification for self-defense, his lawyers have released a video that' allegedly one of the only recordings of Trayvon Martin's voice — and they claim it proves Martin wasn't, in fact, screaming for help in a 911 call.

Comments | 12,864 Views

By Alexander Abad-Santos

Jun 7, 2013

This Homophobic Bakery will Cater Dog Weddings but Not Gay Civil Unions

On May 1, Colorado took a step toward civil-rights progress on the gay rights and began recognizing same-sex civil unions. But Christian baker Jack Phillips, owner of Masterpiece Cakeshop, took one big step backward — and now he's the subject of a formal complaint sitting at the state attorney general's office.

Comments | 2,822 Views

By Alexander Abad-Santos

Jun 7, 2013

The Economist's 'Brokeback Mountain' Cover & PRISM Won't Stop Obama & Xi

The cover of the new issue of The Economist is stirring a minor controversy and cries of "awful" Newsweek-style trolling ahead of an historic and not-quite-overshadowed summit that begins today between President Obama and Xi Jinping in California — their first meeting since Xi became the president of China.

Comments | 5,418 Views

By Alexander Abad-Santos

Jun 6, 2013

The Ryan Gosling Look-Alike Accountant Who Unfairly Targeted Ryan Gosling Fans

Today in viral videos: the IRS has nothing on this guy, plus Brian Williams rapping, George R.R. Martin watching people watching the Red Wedding, and more.

Comments | 3,901 Views

By Alexander Abad-Santos

Jun 6, 2013

One Garage Door May Link Rob Ford to a Crackhouse, Shady Characters & Cats

The pinpointing of the house in a key photo — supposedly proof of Ford smoking crack, associating himself with drug users, and standing next to dead man — doesn't exactly solve a death, nor turn up the missing video, but it does raise a host of new questions about who the Toronto mayor knew and why.

Comments | 3,684 Views

By Alexander Abad-Santos

Jun 6, 2013

The Awkward 'Today' Show Segue After a Man Tried to Slice Himself on Their Set

The Today show usually opens its 8 a.m. hour with its hosts outside in Rockefeller Plaza amidst the signs and smiling fans. But when, as Matt Lauer reported on-air, "a man attempted to harm himself with a knife" out there, the wholesome foursome moved back inside and turned what was a scary sight off-camera into a happy-go-awkward impromptu segment, Joe Biden jokes and all.

Comments | 25,518 Views

By Alexander Abad-Santos

Jun 6, 2013

The American Tourist in India Has ID'd Her Gang-Rapists but India Is No Safer

The 31-year-old California woman who reported yet another gang rape in India after she couldn't catch a cab back to her guest house in the popular resort town of Manali, has already picked all three of her attackers out of a lineup. But the unfolding horror of the country's latest rape case isn't exactly making tourists feel any better.

Comments | 2,595 Views

By Alexander Abad-Santos

Jun 5, 2013

This Little Girl Who Gave Herself a Terrible Haircut Is an American Hero

Today in viral videos: a little girl gave herself the worst haircut on planet and lives to tell the tale, the "amazingness" of The Bachelorette, and one dramatic dog. 

Comments | 2,811 Views

By Alexander Abad-Santos

Jun 5, 2013

So Who Won Today's Battle on Plan B?

The single-pill version of the so-called "morning-after pill" (aka Plan B One-Step) won't be available to girls over the counter quite yet, but the two-pill variant could be available for all "immediately." Depending on what the drug stores — and the Obama administration — have to say about the latest ruling.

Comments | 1,730 Views

By Alexander Abad-Santos

Jun 5, 2013

Turkey's Government Doesn't Understand Its Digital Enemy

The hacking of Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan's website by Anonymous and the Syrian Electronic Army on Wednesday may be a giant headache for a government to face, but that's more or less the digital war that Edrogan and his team are so stubbornly fighting, as the nationwide protests become a social media migraine.

Comments | 1,298 Views

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