Author: Connor Simpson

A Canadian Mayor Resigns...

Youtube: @themontrealgazette

Can you guess which one? If you think it's the one embroiled in a violent crack cocaine scandal, you are wrong.

By Connor Simpson

Nov 25, 2012

They're Drafting a Rule Book for the 'Kill List'

The secret list the White House uses to determine who to target with a drone strike, known as the 'kill list' -- or 'disposition matrix,' whatever -- is still highly classified, but we know there isn't a hard-and-fast set of rules they follow. Well, it seems like there will be soon. 

Comments | 4,421 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 24, 2012

How to Build the World's Tallest Skyscraper in 90 Days

A Chinese company thinks they've simplified the construction process so much that they can build the world's tallest skyscraper in 90 days. 

Comments | 22,273 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 24, 2012

Is Being the Most Viewed Youtube Video the New Jumping the Shark?

Let's hope so. Psy's "Gangnam Style" music video is now the most watched video on Youtube. 

Comments | 6,246 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 24, 2012

Someone Needs to Have a Talk with Justin Bieber

Justin Bieber is young, famous, and has more money than any of us can even fathom, but that doesn't mean he can dress himself. 

Comments | 32,035 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 24, 2012

Gaza's Fisherman Are Big Winners in the Ceasefire Deal

New details stemming the agreement to play nice between Israel and Hamas will be negotiated over the next few weeks, and so the biggest winners are Gaza's fisherman. They can now fish twice as far off shore. 

Comments | 2,229 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 24, 2012

Larry Hagman's J.R. Ewing Will Get a Proper Good Bye on 'Dallas'

Larry Hagman, famous for playing J.R. Ewing on CBS' Dallas, passed away on Friday evening from complications with cancer. He was 81 years old. Hagman will die once more, as he lived, on television when the Dallas remake returns in the spring. 

Comments | 3,729 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 24, 2012

Printing Topless Pictures of Kate Middleton Is a Good Way to Lose Your Job

Michael O'Kane, the editor of the Irish Daily Star, has learned the hard way that no one will find it amusing if you publish topless pictures of the Duchess of Cambridge Kate Middleton, and it will result in you losing your job. 

Comments | 3,911 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 24, 2012

Maybe Morsi Shouldn't Have Made Himself So Powerful

The outrage over the Egyptian President's latest power grab, the one that led to protests and chants calling him "pharaoh," isn't going away. This seems to be the start of something big. 

Comments | 3,600 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 23, 2012

'Downton' Forever

Tea and crumpets, it's a time to celebrate! Your favorite English period drama, Downton Abbey, has been renewed for a fourth season by ITV, the British channel that produces it.

Comments | 3,621 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 23, 2012

So, How Did Those Wal-Mart Protests Go?

Walmart employees were threatening to bring holiday shopping to its knees by striking on the busiest shopping day of the year to show their demand for a better working conditions. So, how did it go?

Comments | 15,863 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 23, 2012

Everyone Instagrammed Their Turkey Yesterday

Oh, no! You were so busy eating and being thankful for family, friends and good health yesterday that you forgot to Instagram your turkey! Don't worry, everyone else remembered. Thanksgiving was the busiest day ever for the upstart social network. 

Comments | 3,580 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 23, 2012

Let's Try and Crack the WWII Code Stumping Britain's Best Code Breakers

A recently discovered code from World War II found on a pigeon that was dead in some guy's chimney has Britain's top code-breakers completely stumped.

Comments | 2,589 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 23, 2012

No One Pharaoh Should Have All That Power

Egyptian President Mohamed Morsi, who when elected had to reclaim some executive power from the previous military regime, is in hot water after he gave himself a Thanksgiving present that put him above the courts and led to some Egyptians calling him "Pharaoh." 

Comments | 1,115 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 23, 2012

Why We're Thankful for the NHL Lockout

You might only be vaguely aware of it, especially on this weekend full of football, but the NHL is still locked out and there is no sign of an end. We're thankful for this, and we'll tell you why. 

Comments | 2,171 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 23, 2012

All's Quiet on the Western Front This Black Friday

We don't want to jump the gun or anything, but this Black Friday seems to be pretty civil? There's an unsettling lack of mayhem happening on the craziest shopping day of the year. 

Comments | 1,724 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 23, 2012

Let's Talk About a Potential Bush in 2016

Oh, boy, are you guys ready for more 2016 speculation? We hope so! The latest obvious rumor says Jeb Bush is quietly debating throwing his name in for the Republican nomination. 

Comments | 3,621 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 22, 2012

Detroit Won't Have a Happy Thanksgiving (Again)

Every year the Detroit Lions play the first game of Thanksgiving Day while the rest of America sits at home and eats their delicious turkey dinners and every year for the last nine the city has been left  heartbroken by the cold reality of defeat.

Comments | 2,303 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 22, 2012

Other Things We Should Abandon with the Ames Straw Poll

There's a movement growing that says we should get rid of the Ames Straw Poll. Iowa Gov. Terry Branstad was the first person to say that this thing has got to go, and now other politicians are agreeing with him.

Comments | 4,044 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 22, 2012

Meanwhile, in Canada, a Horse Walks Into a Hotel...

No, this isn't a dirty joke. One of the biggest stories north of the border today revolves around a Toronto's hotel refusal to let a horse walk through their lobby. 

Comments | 12,611 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 22, 2012

Sesame Street Doesn't Need an Elmo Back-Up Plan Until 2014

The Sesame Street producers were left in quite the pickle when one of their biggest puppeteers, Kevin Clash, resigned, but apparently his Elmo will be a part of the show for the next two years. 

Comments | 3,198 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 22, 2012

Ranking the Best Chores to Get You Away from Family

Before you yell at us for defying the whole spirit of Thanksgiving, hear us out. Family is great and wonderful and they provide for us and love us unconditionally, but sometimes you need to get away from them. Family, frankly, can be annoying. 

Comments | 3,500 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 22, 2012

The Gaza-Israel Ceasefire Seems to be Working

We're almost through the first twenty four hours of the ceasefire agreement between Israel and Gaza, and besides a few stray rockets in the first couple hours, it seems to be holding. We could be in the clear, folks. 

Comments | 345 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 22, 2012

Highlights from Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parades of Yore

You're watching this year's Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade because that's what you're supposed to do while mom and dad cook, and football hasn't started yet. The floats are a bit unspectacular this year, so we've gone into the archives and assembled our own parade from years past.

Comments | 1,951 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 22, 2012

So, the BBC Hired an Opera Guy to be Their New Chief

The BBC found itself without a director general after a pair of scandals led to the resignation of George Entwistle barely two months after he started the job. So, without a head, and facing questions about the future of the organization, the BBC hired the head of the Royal Opera House. 

Comments | 505 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 21, 2012

Larry David Would Like to Wish You a (Sort of) Happy Thanksgiving

At the very least, he wants to tell you, via this new Funny or Die animated short, what Thanksgiving was like with his family growing up in Brooklyn. Hint: It's dysfunctional.

Comments | 2,196 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 21, 2012

Real-Life Elmo Child Abuse Won't Stop Toy Elmo Sales on Black Friday

If you thought an icky sex scandal would damage the selling power of all those furry, red, loveable Elmo toys this holiday shopping season, you underestimated the selling power of Sesame Street's all-time best-seller.

Comments | 1,333 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 21, 2012

The T.S.A. Will Pay for Exposing the Breasts of a Congressman's Niece

Just in time for the holiday travel rush, the T.S.A. is facing perhaps its most public pat-down gross-out yet.

Comments | 3,893 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 21, 2012

ESPN Locks Up College-Football Playoffs, Keeps Obama Happy for 14 Years

You had to know this was coming. ESPN has paid a whopping $6 billion to broadcast the new college-football playoff games — the ones that Obama was so keen to tell you about during the campaign.

Comments | 1,180 Views

Israel-Palestine Ceasefire Now In Effect

The Palestinians and Israelis have brokered a cease fire agreement that went into effect at 9 p.m. Cairo time, but bombs were launched until the last possible minutes and now we're waiting to see if this thing sticks. 

Comments | 1,428 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 20, 2012

So, What Is NASA Curiosity's History-Changing Discovery?

The Mars rover has another discovery that might just change everything — but they aren't telling anyone what it is yet. Thanksgiving nerd speculation, of course, is go for launch.

Comments | 12,891 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 20, 2012

Did Linda McMahon Screw Over a Staffer With a Bounced Check and a Condom?

The failed Senate candidate is playing the "deny everything" game after a report that one of her campaign staffers received a cruel kind of severance pay.

Comments | 2,670 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 18, 2012

John McAfee Is Blogging on the Lam

John McAfee, the man responsible for the anti-virus software on your computer and currently a murder suspect, has started to blog about life on the run.

Comments | 10,093 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 18, 2012

After a Recount, Allen West Loses Even Harder

Allan West demanded a recount after the initial results showed him losing his Florida congressional seat to Democratic challenger Patrick Murphy, but the recount did the opposite of what West wished. It made the distance between Murphy and West even wider. 

Comments | 7,069 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 18, 2012

Box Office Report

Teen Vampires Fight for Love and Lots of Money

Welcome to the Box Office Report where we will forever support RPatz and KStew because we remember how heartbroken everyone was when Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams broke up. No one should suffer that kind of heartbreak, not even teenagers on Tumblr.

Comments | 1,311 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 18, 2012

The Sunday Grind

Graham to Romney: 'Stop Digging'; McCain Wants Clinton to Lead Israel Peace Talks

Lindsey Graham and Bobby Jindal both threw Mitt Romney under the Republican bus for his controversial "gifts" comments; John McCain said he'll go easier on Susan Rice if she admits she was wrong and advocated for Bill Clinton to lead the peace talks between Israel and Gaza. 

Comments | 7,865 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 18, 2012

Paula Broadwell Dreamed of Hollywood and High Office

Paula Broadwell had ambitions beyond being the lady who wrote David Petraeus' biography. According to a report in the New York Post's Page 6, Broadwell was trying to leverage her book fame into becoming a TV regular, or an elected official.

Comments | 3,326 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 18, 2012

Israel Commits Worst Airstrike So Far As Efforts for a Ceasefire Ramp Up

The fighting between Israel and Hamas continued Sunday night with rocket attacks on both sides, while in the background the efforts to work out a ceasefire have begun to ramp up. 

Comments | 4,233 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 18, 2012

The One Where Chris Christie Showed Up

Sorry, Jeremy Renner, but New Jersey Governor Chris Christie stole the spotlight from you on last night's Saturday Night Live. That's no knock on you. We just can't resist the fleece jokes. 

Comments | 8,542 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 17, 2012

What's With All the Funny Cars in Austin This Weekend?

For the first time in five years, Formula 1 is holding a race in the U.S. on Sunday. The "Circuit of the Americas" will run in Austin, Texas.

Comments | 5,806 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 17, 2012

New York to Demolish Over 200 Homes Because of Sandy

As inspectors finish up their post-Sandy assessments, we're reminded again of the overall effects Sandy had on New York.

Comments | 3,276 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 17, 2012

There Are Glimmers of Hope for an End to the Israel-Gaza Conflict

There are signs, however small, that an end to the most recent conflict between Israel and Gaza is coming to a close. 

Comments | 1,814 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 17, 2012

The Only Thing the White House Changed in the CIA's Benghazi Talking Points

Caught red handed, the White House admitted to copy-editing part of the CIA's talking points on the Benghazi attack given to Susan Rice. The only thing they changed, though, was a reference to the building that was attacked. 

Comments | 6,741 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 17, 2012

Ron Barber, Gabrielle Giffords' Former Aide, Officially Declared Her Successor

He wasn't just keeping the seat warm. Ron Barber, Gabrielle Giffords' hand-picked successor, officially won the race for her old House seat in Arizona's District 8 on Saturday when the Associated Press finally called it, almost two weeks after election day.

Comments | 7,414 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 17, 2012

Gaza Prime Minister No Longer Has an Office to Work From

Gaza's Prime Minister no longer has an office. The latest Israeli offensive took out his headquarters along with the headquarters for the police and homeland security.

Comments | 3,793 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 17, 2012

New York Prosecutor Unapologetic About His Past in Porn

This is not a tale about a porn star with a heart of gold. Instead, it's about one who went on to become a prosecutor in Upstate New York after a pretty successful career of doing the deed back in the heady days of the 1970s. 

Comments | 2,743 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 17, 2012

The President Is Unimpressed

This is a picture of the President with Olympic hero and living meme McKayla Maroney imitating her now famous facial expression from this summer's Olympics.

Comments | 16,380 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 16, 2012

What Life Is Like During Wartime in Israel

While the fighting between the Israelis and Palestinians continued Thursday evening with the two countries exchanging rocket fire, life for many citizens continued as normal. It can be easy to forget that life has to continue, even during war time. 

Comments | 1,546 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 16, 2012

Bloomberg Comes Under Fire for Not Being a Hugger

Mayor Michael Bloomberg is facing a strange bit of criticism while on the slow path to recovery since Hurricane Sandy: he isn't really a hugger. We've decided to give him some help. 

Comments | 1,162 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 15, 2012

Leslie Knope Sniffed Joe Biden on 'Parks and Recreation'

We're pretty confident when we declare Joe Biden's guest spot on Thursday night's episode of Parks and Recreation the most anticipated cameo by a politician on a television show of all time. 

Comments | 1,729 Views

By Connor Simpson

Nov 15, 2012

The Idiot's Guide to Being an Outraged Math Nerd Over Miguel Cabrera's MVP Award

Math has taken over every other aspect of baseball, from the way general managers put teams together to the way fans watch the game, but it still can't affect the outcome of baseball's biggest solo award. 

Comments | 3,230 Views

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