John Michael Green would like you to know
that pennies are a waste of time, money, space, and life. In what seems like an entirely
self-aware YouTube rant, he explains that "it
costs the United States Mint 1.7 cents to make a penny, which means
that every year 70 million dollars of federal tax money goes to
subsidizing the existence of the penny." Not only that, but there's evidence that "
the time Americans spend fiddling with pennies costs us money--as much
as a billion dollars a year. So, every year, American taxpayers pay 70
million dollars to have the opportunity to lose a billion dollars in
productivity costs," he concludes. This is when he begins to hit his stride (at points in the video, he also spins around on an office chair):
that is not even the ultimate reason to get rid of the penny ... Money
exists to facilitate the exchange of goods and services and pennies don't do that effectively! All the places we usually use coins like parking meters and vending machines don't accept pennies because they are worthless! ...
know the only thing I hate more than pennies ..? Nickels. A nickel,
which is worth 5 cents, takes more than 9 cents to produce. Imagine if
you will ... a situation in which you walk into a bank and you say "I
have here this nickel! Would you like to give me 9 cents for it?" and
the bank says "yes." That's what's happening with the U.S. Mint.
what does Green advocate? A system whereby we have three coins: a dime,
a fifty-cent piece, and a dollar. Why won't it happen? Simple, says
Green: because we are a "species of sentimentalists" seemingly incapable of getting rid of these "disgusting
bacteria-ridden disks of suck that fail to facilitate commerce." Enough
said. See below video for the full experience (Hat tip: Jason Kottke.).
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