--an ensemble romantic comedy from Pretty Woman
director Garry Marshall--is supposed to be a celebration of love in all
its messy, sappy glory. But the film, which opens Friday, has inspired a
remarkable amount of hate from reviewers, who eviscerate it for being
plotless, saccharine-sweet, and even satanic. Here, the seven best anti-Valentine's Day
"Marshall directs as if he's putting together dinner from whatever's in the fridge."
"Marshall's attempt to please every conceivable audience is like a
200-piece Whitman's sampler. What's the point of getting that much
candy if you want to discard every piece after the first bite?"
- Washington Post: "[T]his feels less like a movie and more like a strategically programmed
effort to turn as many demographic groups as possible into mooshy,
gooshy, candy-heart-munching morons."
- Entertainment Weekly:
"'Valentine's Day' assembles a bouquet of blooming celebrity
movie stars...shuffles them in skits about love gone right and wrong,
and hopes you won't notice that every skit is lame, every line of
dialogue is stale, every joke falls flat, and every performance has
been phoned in between text messages to agents blinking, 'SOS!'"
- New York Times:
"This might not be the Titanic of romantic comedies (it’s tugboat
size), but it’s a disaster: cynically made, barely directed, terribly
written. But quick: there’s still time to escape!"
- Wall Street Journal:
"Red, the hue that dominates this movie's palette, is the color
associated with both Valentine's Day and the devil. And there's
something vaguely satanic about 'Valentine's Day.'"
- Finally, Salon uses its review to bash not only the movie but the holiday itself: "'Valentine's Day' involves watching talented and attractive people
squander their energies on a pointless and random exercise, which ...
hey! Wait a second! That's an excellent description of what the real
Valentine's Day does to the rest of us (less talented and attractive
though we may be)."
Want to add to this story? Let us know in comments.
You can share ideas for stories on the Open Wire.