At Sir Elton John's pre-Oscar party the world's leading film stars were easy to identify: they were the vagrant-like bearded figures huddled in corners wearing beanie hats and thick-rimmed glasses ... All this might be commendable if the uglification process weren't just as vacuous and laboured as the beautification game. Put on the Woody Allen glasses, as Carol Vorderman should now know, and people tend to expect Woody Allen--when in fact all they get is wood.
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Heather Horn
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