Welcome back to the box office report where two new movies are finally pushing the last of the summer's dreck off our radar.
1. The Possession (Lionsgate): $17.7 million in 2,816 theaters
Hey, a horror movie! We love horror movies. This one, though. It looks pretty bad! But we'll probably still see it. Why? "You ranted about how everything was terrible all summer last week!" you're yelling at me. Because yes, things were bad this summer. But The Possession looks like a good-bad movie, whereas everything that came out this summer was bad-good. Do you see the distinction? It is very clear. Do not question my logic.
2. Lawless (The Weinstein Company): $9.7 million in 2,888 theaters
This! We are also excited to see this. Who doesn't love going t' the bootlegger? There's all kinds of things to like here, including but certainly not limited to Tom Hardy and Gary Oldman. We hope Commissioner Gordon and Bane are friends in this one. Wouldn't that be swell? Guy Pearce is here, too. We're even partial to Shia LeBoeuf from time to time. He gets so much flack for ruining Indy 4 when it wasn't his fault! It was all George Lucas. And aliens.
3. The Expendables 2 (Lionsgate): $8.8 million in 3,334 theaters [Week 3]
Imagine someone took the Expendables formula (grab all the old genre stars and throw them in the ultimate genre movie) and applied it, somehow, to kid's sports movies from the early '90s. The cast of the Mighty Ducks, The Sandlot, The Big Green, and probably a few others, have to compete for Team U.S.A. at an all-season Olympics. Maybe it's the Junior Goodwill Games again. There's a point in D2 where they list off what else is being played besides hockey, and everything is there, including soccer. What tournament has hockey and soccer? Our fictional one, of course. Let's make this happen. Joshua Jackson is almost done with Fringe and Kenan Thompson doesn't do movies anymore. The timing is perfect.
4. The Bourne Legacy (Universal): $7.2 million in 3,131 theaters [Week 4]
We're still not buying into Jeremy Renner, action star. It's nothing personal. It's just... we can't root for an action star named Jeremy. Sorry, Jeremys of the world. Please still love us.
5. ParaNorman (Focus): $6.6 million in 3,085 theaters [Week 3]
ParaMormon, where a young Mitt Romney has to save his neighborhood from zombie sinners.
A roundup of other notable box office news:
- Some movie called The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure (that looks terrifying) posted the worst opening weekend for a movie in over 2,000 theaters ever.
- The Dark Knight Rises passed $1 billion worldwide.
- Not to be outdone, The Avengers passed $1.5 billion worldwide.