"The Smiths are never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever going to reunite – ever," Morrissey's publicist has told Rolling Stone, effectively squashing the dreams of sad kids who grew up and turned out fine everywhere. But there's never a bad time for a good cry, so that muffled whimpering you hear in the distance is the all-too-familiar sound of Smiths fans' tears seeping into their pillows. In case you were counting that's five more "evers" than the line from that Taylor Swift song you can't get out of your head, but it seems like Morrissey's publicist really wanted to make clear that the rumors of the band getting together for the Coachella music festival are false. The latest of that set of rumors popped up to the gossip site Holy Moly yesterday, but it looks like a Herald Sun interview with Morrissey from September 27, is what got the ball rolling:

... interestingly the agents for Coachella offered a 100-percent vegetarian event for the following year if I would agree to headline with Johnny Marr as the Smiths. Fascinatingly they made it clear that they would 'not require' the Smiths' bass player or drummer ... which I thought certainly said something.

We're not quite sure how that quote (which could totally be read with dripping sarcasm and cynicism) turned into: "OMG, The Smiths are getting back together!" But it did. Covering all bases, is that Marr's manager has also shot down the rumors today in NME.  Shucks. And when Rolling Stone asked Morrissey's rep about all that "never" and all those "evers", his rep responded:  "You'd have to ask Morrissey that. There's got to be a story there, and maybe one day it will be told." So yes, add The Smiths to the list of bands you won't see live anytime soon which now includes Foo Fighters and LMFAO.

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Alexander Abad-Santos