Today in celebrity gossip: Taylor Swift was teased and un-awarded at the CMAs last night, Katie Holmes is safe and sound guys so stop worrying, and hear about a fabulous party that happened during the blackout.
The winds of change are a'blowing. The CMA Awards, country music's biggest hootenanny of the year, were last night, and things felt different. No, no, the ratings were fine, the viewership of the CMAs literally changes not one iota when New York and New Jersey are out of power, because, again, they are the CMAs. What changed is that Taylor Swift, crystal queen of commercial country, was mocked on stage and received no awards. Which, OK, she has gone winless before and has been made fun of in the past, so things weren't that different this time around, but the mood just seems harsher. Basically what happened was that, yes, Swift was nominated but did not win and hosts Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood (comedy dynamos, them) joked "The greatest trade of the year had to be the Kennedy family. They somehow traded Arnold Schwarzenegger for Taylor Swift," after talking about football trades. Then they did a sketch-y thing where Carrie had to tell Brad that the two had split up and Brad was like "Are they ever gonna get back together?" And of course Carrie was all "Never never never, never ever," like the song. So, it was a little needling about Swift's tres public personal life and it must have stung a little for the golden child. But, of course, she did get a standing ovation for her nice Paris-set performance later in the show, so it wasn't all antipathy and bad juju. Still, you have to think that the community will continue to turn sour on Swift the more straight-up pop tunes she releases. This could be the beginning of Taylor's country end. Or not. Whatever. [Us Weekly]
OK, everyone. We can wrap it up. The Hurricane Sandy rescue effort is done, because we now know that Katie Holmes is safe and sound. We knew that she lives in Chelsea and that most of that neighborhood is without power and water, so of course everyone from Cuomo to Bloomberg to the common person staggering through the unlit wildlands of lower Manhattan was deeply concerned about Katie Holmes, but now we've learned that she went uptown and checked herself and her daughter into a hotel. We don't know what hotel, but that's OK. The important thing is that she's safe and back rehearsing for her Broadway play (which starts previews on Monday) and now we can focus all of our efforts on the next thing that really matters, the New York City Marathon. Because once Katie Holmes has been secured, we can absolutely turn our full attention to a running race that demands lots of power and resources. Since, y'know, no one else needs them now that Katie Holmes is accounted for. [Page Six]
Elsewhere in important Hurricane Sandy news, I know I was happy to hear this so maybe the rest of you without power will be too: Leonardo DiCaprio, Jay-Z and Beyonce, Russell Crowe, and Dita von Teese were among the many glittery guests at a private, non-charity party at Ciprani 42nd Street on Wednesday night. Nope it wasn't a benefit or anything, it was just a big expensive party that involved "bringing in DJs who play Ibiza, including Marco Carola, by private jet, as well as guests from Europe who frequent Cipriani venues," according to a Page Six source. That source went on to gush, "It was one of the best mix of celebrities, great decor and music I have ever witnessed at a party. Dancing went on until 6 a.m." So that's nice. While we were huddled in our freezing apartments with no heat or water and nowhere to go unless we wanted to fight people for hours in a bus line, there was, just above us, the best mix of celebrities and decor that a Page Six source had ever seen. Isn't that retroactively comforting? I find it is. Long live everyone! [Page Six]
Here are pictures and video of Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart (and Taylor Lautner, but seriously who cares about him these days) being jolly and mirthful together during an MTV interview for Twilight 5: The Final Fang-F*ck of Elegant Eddie. It's very nice to see them cheerful and laughing together again. Well, I mean, it's a little weird to see Kristen Stewart cheerful and laughing because that really does not seem to be her natural setting, but it is good to see the couple faring well. Or at least putting on a good show for the cameras. Meanwhile Taylor Lautner tried to chuckle amiably throughout, all while desperately trying to hold onto every minute and moment of attention, knowing full well that when this Twilight train finally pulls into the station for good, it's gonna be pretty quiet from there on out. Sigh. [Daily Mail]
Take it away, TMZ. The headline: "HOT NAKED MEN Found in MJ Death House." Huh, OK. The lede: "They're a little old (if ya know what we're sayin') ... but a bunch of ripped, nearly naked men showed up at Michael Jackson's death house recently for a very steamy not-gay-at-all photo shoot." Oh, I see, that's terrific. A cool story about underwear-clad men standing in the house where Michael Jackson died, coupled with a winking joke about the late singer's alleged habitual molestation of young boys. An entirely worthwhile thing to post about. Yay, world. I'm going back to the dark. [TMZ]