We realize there's only so much time one can spend in a day watching new trailers, viral video clips, and shaky cellphone footage of people arguing on live television. This is why every day The Atlantic Wire highlights the videos that truly earn your five minutes (or less) of attention. Today:

Sriracha is basically a sexier and spicier ketchup and we feel really bad for anyone who has never gotten to try it on a hamburger. That said, about 3/4 of this video made us hungry for the gentle burn of the sauce, the rest of the video was spent trying to figure out if anyone actually likes Sriracha on a cupcake: 

Right here are some of the most iconic movie scenes involving pizza. Quick show of hands, who knew George Clooney was in Return of the Killer Tomatoes?

First hot sauce, then pizza, and now we have stoners. Happy Presidents Day indeed. In the name of journalism, KIRO-TV in Seattle got people stoned and watched what happened to their driving. This is significant (and sorta funny). What's good to know is that all the volunteers knew they shouldn't be driving: 

And finally, here's a supercut of the cutest animals the Internet could find. Good luck to that cold black heart of yours, you sap: 

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Alexander Abad-Santos