Screed

'Sell the Vatican, Feed the World'

Max Fisher Oct 13, 2009
AUTHOR: Sarah Silverman
THESIS: The Pope should end world hunger by "selling the Vatican"
CATALYST: "Grossy sick emaciated people" on her 48-inch plasma-screen
THE POPE: "Is literally a caped crusader"
ESTIMATED WORTH OF THE VATICAN: "Like 500 billion dollars"
SALARY OF AVERAGE ARBY'S EMPLOYEE IN ETHIOPIA: "Nothing an hour"
WHERE VATICAN WOULD MOVE: "A gorgeous condominium" with swimming pool, tennis court, waterslide
UPSIDE: "On an ego level alone, you will be the biggest hero in the history of ever"
NOTE FROM JEWS: "And by the way, any involvement in the holocaust? Bygones."
POPE WOULD ALSO RECEIVE: "All the pussy"
LIKELY PORTION OF ARGUMENT THAT IS IRONIC: 90-95%
NOTA BENE:
You preach to live hungry, and I totally agree, so now maybe it's time for you to move out of your house that is a city.

Want to add to this story? Let us know in comments or send an email to the author at mfisher at theatlantic dot com. You can share ideas for stories on the Open Wire.

Sources

Related Articles   More by Max Fisher

How Harry Potter Explains Humanitarian Crowd-Sourcing

A Clash Over 'Wars, Guns, and Votes'

There Is No Overpopulation Problem

 

What's Next for Tunisia?

Guarded Optimism for Iran Nuclear Talks

Elsewhere on the Web

User Comments

Please type your comment and click Post. If you’re not already logged in you will be prompted to log in or register

  • The Atlantic Wire on Twitter
  • The Atlantic Wire RSS Feed
  • The Atlantic Wire iPhone App