Screed

The Most Bombastic Thing You'll Read Today

Heather Horn 143 Views Mar 18, 2010
AUTHOR: Conrad Black, National Review columnist
OSTENSIBLE THESIS: The U.S. should "reassess its policy toward Europe ... reemphasiz[ing] Western solidarity and reform[ing] NATO"
MODE OF ARGUMENT: Periphrasis and commas
EXAMPLES THEREOF ON THE THIRD PAGE ALONE:
  • Vocabulary: "debt-ridden floundering," "torpid dyspepsia," "socialistic quixotry," "apologetic diffidence," "socialist over-regimentation," "tenebrous thicket," "glib Euro-conceit," "present slovenly confidence trick," "advanced and aspirant democracies," "Manichaean ordeals," "Spenglerian decline"
  • Syntax: "It must rank as one of history's great ironies that on the heels of the immense and relatively bloodless Western victory of the Cold War, and the emergence of the United States as the world's only unrivaled superpower in history, the whole West, except for Canada and Australia, quickly mismanaged itself into an anthill of decay and confusion."
CONCLUSION:
The advanced and aspirant democracies should reinvent themselves in dedication to victory in the third great era of the world's democratization, following the glorious victories of World War II over Fascism and of the Cold War over Communism. We have not got through those implacable Manichaean ordeals to enter the Spenglerian decline of the West. To quote famous preceptors, "If not us, who? If not now, when?"
POSTSCRIPT: "I shall offer some specific proposals next week."
WIRE'S ADDENDUM: George Will had better hang onto his thesaurus and watch his back--wait, make that "posterior"

Want to add to this story? Let us know in comments or send an email to the author at hhorn at theatlantic dot com. You can share ideas for stories on the Open Wire.

Sources

Topics:
Related Articles   More by Heather Horn

It's Time To 'End' Belgium

Europe's Last Dictator Holds On to Power

Queen Visits New York, to Yawns

 

Vanessa Grigoriadis: What I Read

What the World Makes of Rick Perry

Elsewhere on the Web

User Comments

Please type your comment and click Post. If you’re not already logged in you will be prompted to log in or register

  • The Atlantic Wire on Twitter
  • The Atlantic Wire RSS Feed
  • The Atlantic Wire iPhone App