: Boris Johnson
in The Telegraph, holding forth on the British electionLENGTH
: 1,056 wordsWORDS OF WARMUP NEEDED BEFORE HE LETS LOOSE
: Nick Clegg and the Liberal DemocratsSOME HELLENIC ALLITERATION TO GET GOING
: "they are not so much two-faced as positively polycephalous"WHY BRITISH POLITICIAN VINCE CABLE IS NOT A 'SEMI-HOLY MAHATMA GANDHI OF BRITISH POLITICS'
"Actually his most notable recommendation before the crisis was that
Britain should join the euro--a move that would gravely have worsened
our current position by leaving us in a Greek-style straitjacket."YOUR MEALS, AS METAPHORS
: "What crouton of substance did Clegg offer last Thursday, in the opaque minestrone of waffle?"
GETTING DOWN TO BUSINESS--THE LIBERAL DEMOCRATS, DEFINED
: "They are a bunch of euro-loving road-hump
fetishists who are attempting like some defective vacuum cleaner to suck and
blow at the same time"PARTING SIMILE
: "The Lib Dems are everywhere today, like the orange spores of an exploded puffball."CHALLENGE WE OFFER FOR BORIS JOHNSON
Having managed to work "Greek-style straitjacket," crouton, minestrone,
"euro-loving road-hump fetishists," "orange spores," and puffball into
a single opinion piece, to attempt to work them into a single sentence
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