There's a reason why web searches for a variation on William Shatner have risen 96 percent on this particular March Tuesday. The one-time captain of the Enterprise now-turned cantankerous star of $#*! My Dad Says is celebrating his 80th birthday this March 22nd. And bloggers refuse to let his birthday benchmark go unnoticed without some considerable reflection on what it means to be Shatner ("Oh captain, my captain…you sure got old," bluntly reminisced Screen Rant).

As everyone honors his birthday, we'll offer a little primer for a certain type of William Shatner fan: one who wants to revel in as much irrelevant Shatner mythology as possible, presumably at the expense of other obligations. So without further ado:

Read:

• The Birthday Listicle - Time magazine compiles "The Ten Unforgettable Shatner Moments"

• The Birthday Interview - The Vancouver Sun speaks to him about turning 80. Takeaway quote: "Everything I say is pithy now. Or pissy. I’m not sure which."

• The Birthday Wishes -  Out of the many well-wishers on the web today, Wired magazine gives the most comprehensive, endearing tribute to the "geek legend."

• The Flashback Magazine Profile - Only if you missed it when it was published last year, The New York Times magazine profile of the "many iterations" of the movie star.

Watch:

That Funny Thing He Did on Conan

[h/t: CBS News]

The Time He Sang "Rocket Man" in 1978

[h/t: Boston Globe]

His Turn On "Twilight Zone"

[h/t: Britannica Blog]

Celebrities Stumbling Over Themselves To Speak Like Him

Do:

See If You Can Imitate Shatner Better Than This Guy

[h/t: CBS News]

Yell Something (Yes, We Had To Include the Obligatory Khan! Clip)

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Erik Hayden