Let us all hope that this is the weirdest arrest of the weekend: authorities in Peru have arrested Johnny D. Guillen (nee Johnny D. Guillen Pimentel), aka the Corta Nalgas, wanted for slashing the buttocks of women in clothing stores in Virginia.

Guillen had been on the lam since mid-2011, when Fairfax County authorities set up a task force to determine who was surreptitiously lacerating the backsides of unsuspecting women as they shopped for clothes. 

According to CNN, Guillen was captured Friday in Lima, Peru. The Corta nalgas — it  means "butt-cutter" — is believed to have assaulted 13 young women. CNN describes his alleged method:

In one incident, officers responded to a report of a woman who suffered a 1 1/2 inch wound to her buttocks at a Forever 21 store on July 25.

"The 18-year-old victim was shopping when she noticed clothes that had fallen off of a rack behind her and saw a man bending down to pick them up," police said. "She abruptly felt a sharp pain and considered that one of the hangers had struck her. A short time later, she discovered her denim shorts had been slashed; her buttocks had been cut and were bleeding."

Why couldn't a criminal with such a funny nickname be accused of behavior that's a little less psychotic? The sheer creepiness is taking all the fun out of it.

At the very least, we can take solace in knowing that the Butt Cutter is finally off the streets.

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Ted Mann