THESIS: Sarah Palin is the Internet personified and her resignation was a "stroke of genius"
ABORTION METAPHOR PLACEMENT: First sentence
PEOPLE WHO DON'T GET PALIN: Jonah Goldberg, Maureen Dowd, John Weaver
COMPARED FAVORABLY TO PALIN: Paris Hilton, Matt Drudge, founders of Craigslist and Napster
SARAH PALIN'S STYLE: "Magical populist," "YouTube verité," "soul of a blogger"
PALIN'S POST-RESIGNATION: "Breaking out a pair of star-spangled tights and assuming the role of national superhero"
PALIN'S MISSION: "Truth, justice, and petroleum-based energy independence "
How Palin will ultimately capitalize on her populist appeal is a matter of great speculation, but one thing is clear: Whether she plans to run for president or star in a documentary about the pressing need to save the oil industry, Palin's abrupt departure was a stroke of genius, the most sensible move she could have made. Spending 18 more months governing a state with fewer residents than Columbus, Ohio, was the political equivalent of releasing a straight-to-DVD movie. Now she can devote her full attention to all the things that enthrall her fans: cherishing her freedoms at rallies and photo ops, hunting media elites from airplanes, defending God’s energy plan from wasteful Washington meddlers, and maybe even competing in the next season of Dancing With the Stars. Jonah Goldberg and Maureen Dowd may not get it, but surely Paris Hilton understands.