WHERE: The Huffington Post
LENGTH: 512 words of Swiss-hating vitriol
THE PURPORTED CRIME: Director Roman Polanski's statutory rape of a 13 year-old, an act he admitted to but for which never served time
THE REAL CRIME: "Arresting Roman Polanski the other day in Zurich, where he was to receive an honorary award at a film festival"
WHY SHE'LL NEVER FORGIVE THE SWISS: Because they neglected their tradition of scrupulous neutrality and "acted on an old extradition treaty with the U.S. and seized him!"
THINGS SHE'S ALREADY FORGIVEN THE SWISS FOR: Laundering dirty money, not giving women the vote, and allowing "German military trains to transit their country during World War II."
IN POLANSKI'S DEFENSE: "The 13-year old model 'seduced' by Polanski had been thrust onto him by her mother, who wanted her in the movies."
HOW THE SWISS SHOULD BE PUNISHED:
I suggest, in the finest American tradition, we protest this absurd and deplorable act by smashing our cuckoo clocks, pawning our Swiss watches, and banning Swiss cheese and chocolate.
And let them yodel all they like.