He's a little late to the game, as "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" has already been repealed, but Staff Sgt. Casey Leavings has contributed a new argument on behalf of rolling back the gay-banning military policy. We're coining his satirical position, put forth in a letter to Stars and Stripes, the "Surf and Turf Case for Repeal."

Leavings points out that we don't ban "surf and turf night" from U.S. military dining facilities, even though, "In the book of Leviticus, God labels eating shellfish an abomination, only a few chapters before he condemns homosexuality." Therefore, we should clearly ban surf and turf, just as "don't ask" banned homosexuality.

At every dining facility I have been to, the military has encouraged this sinful practice by openly serving shrimp, lobster and other detestable items alongside God-approved foods such as steak and chicken. This detestable act occurred at least once a week (most commonly Wednesday).

Now I have no problem with those who choose to eat shellfish (I love the sinner but hate the sin), but why should I be forced to sit alongside those who do, in open defiance of my religious code? If others want to eat shrimp cocktail, let them do it in private, instead of being in my face with their reprehensible acts.

Leavings explains he is only being "facetious" in an effort to call "attention to the hypocrisy of those who selectively choose which parts of their holy book to take literally (and demand the Department of Defense do the same)."

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