Dozens -- though it feels like thousands -- of political reporters are gleefully tweeting about their ridiculous luck that the Republican presidential primary is not only still going on, but going on in Florida. Yes, the very place on the east coast where there's no dreary gray rain all day long.
"Romney rallying hundreds at sunset in Ormond Beach," the cruel Philip Rucker tweeted January 22. "High on the pleasantness scale: That moment the Florida sun retreats behind a cloud," raging jerk Dave Weigel tweeted the following day. "Newt an hour late to Cocoa Beach, pushing sched back - good times" tweeted Benjy Sarlin, cluelessly spoiled like the rest of the 1 percent (of reporters).
"I'll be on @msnbc with @alexwitt talking all things Romney from sunny Florida. #notsorry," sadistic monster Garrett Haake tweeted Sunday. Well guess what guys: you might have hit the jackpot this time, but you missed out on the greatest campaign of all time, suckers. You didn't cover Bill Bradley.
Bradley, the failed challenger to Al Gore for the Democratic nomination in 2000, ran one the best campaigns ever when he was a senator from New Jersey. From Wikipedia: "While he was a senator, Bradley walked the beaches from Cape May to Sandy Hook, a four-day, 127-mile trip each Labor Day weekend, to assess beach and ocean conditions and talk with constituents." "Assess beach and ocean conditions"?! Did he also "monitor the elasticity of swimwear textiles"? How about "inquire whether the scent of the latest suntan oil products was too coconutty or was cut with a pleasant pineappley acidity"? This is what Bradley's "assessments" looked like:
Above, Bradley puddle hopping in 1996, via the Associated Press and several other lucky bastards.
"Campaigning" (vacationing) with "voters" (vacationers) in 1995.
Note the cameraman, hard at "work" in 1999.
There's still some time for this reporter to get on a flight to Florida...