"There are moments in our lives," Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz writes today on his company's official blog, "when we have an opportunity to ignite tremendous positive change—not just in the lives of the customers and communities we serve every day, but in our country."

What moment, Howard Schultz? What tremendous positive change? What are you talking about? You couldn't possibly be talking about the Newtown shooting and the fiscal cliff and peppermint lattes, could you? Could you? Yes, well, yes you could:

There are moments in our lives when we have an opportunity to ignite tremendous positive change—not just in the lives of the customers and communities we serve every day, but in our country. This was evident in the outpouring of support in the wake of the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary that claimed 26 innocent lives, including one of our partners (employees), Lauren Rousseau.

Schultz continues:

As many of you know, our elected officials in Washington D.C. have been unable to come together and compromise to solve the tremendously important, time-sensitive issue to fix the national debt.

Oh. So: Starbucks is getting into politics! Which isn't the first time — Schultz tried to stave off the jobs crisis this fall — but how will the coffee giant rid Washington of its woe this time? Schultz:

We have an opportunity—and I believe a responsibility—to use our company’s scale for good by sending a respectful and optimistic message to our elected officials to come together and reach common ground on this important issue. This week through December 28, partners in our Washington D.C. area stores are writing “Come Together” on customers’ cups.

Oh, lord. A coffee cup? That says Come Together? Which will somehow ignite tremendous change? No and no and no. Starbucks employees in the Beltway area are, in fact, being instructed to write the Beatles song title on all coffee cups cups, in Sharpie or whatever — an effort so banal that it even showed up in a pool report this morning:

Subject: WH Travel Pool #2 - Gym

Kaneohe —

The president is working out at Marine Corps Base Hawaii. Pool van separated from the motorcade at 7:23am local time.

Pool stopped at Starbucks, where my coffee cup is free of fiscal cliff-related messaging.

As it always should. 

Want to add to this story? Let us know in comments or send an email to the author at jtrotter at theatlantic dot com. You can share ideas for stories on the Open Wire.
J.K. Trotter