The Women North Korea Must've Paid to Cry at Kim Jong Il's Funeral

Every day The Atlantic Wire highlights the videos that truly earn your five minutes (or less) of attention.

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A Timeline of the Texas Christmas Shooting According to a Victim's Texts

We couldn't imagine how the story of the murder-suicide that left seven dead on Christmas Day could be even more heartbreaking --  not until we read the Associated Press's retelling of the events based on text messages sent by a 22-year-old victim.

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Meet the Parade of Greedy Crybabies Who Didn't Get iPhones for Christmas

In a brilliant (and frightening) display of our current holiday spirit, writer Jon Hendren spent his Christmas night re-tweeting anyone who complained about not getting — or worse, getting and not being happy about — expensive unneeded gadgets.

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Did You Spend The Holidays With Your Real Family or Your "Single" Family?

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Where Christmases Are Most Likely to Be White

We can't give you this year's Christmas Day weather forecast in your hometown -- for that you'll have to check in with the local TV stations, or if you're under 30, Google. But we can show you historically where Christmases are most likely to be white in the U.S.

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Sorry Won't Save the Christmas Best Buy (and the Internet) Ruined

Online shopping's all easy and fun until Best Buy cancels gift orders and ruins Christmas. 

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A Very Puppy Christmas

Every day The Atlantic Wire highlights the videos that truly earn your five minutes (or less) of attention, but today in honor of the holiday, it's all Christmas and puppies. Merry Xmas!

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Americans Shoplifted $1.8 Billion Worth of Stuff This Christmas

Hope you have a Merry Christmas, America, because you've been extremely naughty at the mall this year.

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FAA Clears Santa Claus for Take-Off

In this year's edition of their annual gag very serious press release, the Department of Transportation has announced today that, as far as the Federal Aviation Administration is concerned, all systems are go for Santa Claus's flight across the world.

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Mistletoe Has Gone Missing

Because of a lack of supply sparked by climate change the Texas drought, this holiday season will not feature much mistletoe, and no one will even notice it's gone. 

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James Franco's Animated Adventures in Academia; Ryan Gosling's Drunk Christmas

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Christmas Trees Are Still Banned in Nazareth Illit

That Christmas tree ban that Shimon Gapso, the mayor of the Israeli town of Nazareth Illit, enacted last year still stands.

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The War on Occupy Christmas

New York City can be a real grinch sometimes, especially if you're a protest movement with a history of antagonizing the authorities.

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Classic Christmas TV During the Reruns

All the new shows have stopped until after the new year, so what is there to watch? 

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The 12 Days of Christmas Cost $101,119.84

The "Christmas Price Index," the collective cost of all the gifts one clearly-trying-too-hard man buys his sweetheart in the carol "The 12 Days of Christmas," hit a record high this year.

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It's Not Easy Being a Gay Republican Operative

Being a Republican politician often requires denouncing homosexuality as a threat to the existence to the American family, but staffing a campaign requires hiring gay staffers. That's when the trouble begins.

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A Guide to the Federal Government's Holiday Parties

It's not something the federal government likes to admit but every December, the faceless men and women of the U.S. government are allotted a holiday party to toast the year's successes. 

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Kids' No. 1 Holiday Wish: An iPad

You no longer have to wonder what gadget to get the tikes on your holiday gift list this year: the far-and-away most popular electronics product the kids are clamoring for in 2011 is the iPad. 

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Obama Has Averted Yet Another Christmas Tree Scandal

The White House had to reverse course today on a Christmas tree-related tax, but its not the first Tannenbaum-related scandal this administration has faced.

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