Candice beat Kree last night on the penultimate episode of this, our 109th season of American Idol. But can she win?
It's over. After all of that pain and struggle, all that we have endured, it's done. Randy Jackson has left the show. Ha, mean. I'm just kidding, Randy. But yes, the twelfth American Idol competition came to a close last night, a surprisingly rousing and spirited finale to a season that's been anything but.
The annual Top 3 of American Idol is always such a big episode, crowded as it is with the home visits and the producers' choice song and, of course, that ever-present feeling of the season being almost over. It's a good episode, and a lot of the singing last night was quite good, too, if you can believe. Let's discuss.
As far as useless episodes of American Idol go, and there is at least one a week, an elimination episode in which no one is eliminated ranks pretty high at the top of the list. Let's re-live the utter waste of everyone's time, shall we?
Last night, after trotting out Carrie Underwood in some misguided attempt to remind us why we watch Idol in the first place, the awful, terrible, vain and aggravating Lazaro survived — either to keep us watching before he gets bumped off next week, or because this is really where America's at right now. Voting for dreadful Lazaro.
A dark day dawned on DisneyWorld, because its beloved son was dead, tossed carelessly into a Hollywood dumpster, left to molder amid the skeletons of so many singtestants before him. What I am saying to you, dear readers, is that Paul Jolley is gone.
Well, dear friends, we have finally reached the end. Another season of hoax game show American Idol has reached its confetti conclusion and we are all the richer for it. Or we are at least not poorer. We are hopefully financially the same.
Fitting of the Top Three elimination night, exactly three things happened on American Idol last night. Let's discuss them and then go about the rest of our days, content in the knowledge that we have almost made it to the end of this life-changing journey.
Top 3! Home visits! Judges' Choice! Boy, we have almost reached the rickety end of this thing, haven't we? But we're not there yet. We're close, but we've no cigars. While we wait for the glorious, glitter-stained end, let's talk a little about what happened last night.
Last night's American Tune Bag was a strangely dark episode, one full of angry songs and pained singing, a blast from the turbulent past that overcame our brave, noble tributes and reduced them to the small quivering children that they are at heart. Well, mostly. There was some good singing! But it all felt tinged with a bit of madness, didn't it?
Last night's Top Six episode of American Singing Competition began what I fear are the two or three most languid weeks of the season (other than auditions, naturally): The Top Six Creep really doesn't end until there are about three people left and the show starts to get exciting again.
OK, that was some hot chicanery on American Idol last night, was it not? That was some straight up flimflammery, a scam and a cheat and an ol' run-around. That was a scheme faker than a Jennifer Lopez song. We've been had, America. Hoodwinked and bamboozled.
There was nothing terribly adventurous about any of the singtestants' endeavors last night, but, you know, this really isn't a bad group. There are no true clunkers, which is a rare thing on American Idol these days. So thank god at least for that.
Another one bit the glorious glitter dust last night, amid all the usual pomp and questionable circumstance. It was actually a somewhat scary bottom three, which will be a more and more frequent occurrence as the weeks wear on and our tributes begin to suffer from exposure. It's a grim business!
Last night was a very emotional night at the ol' Idol song hut, with more than one tribute reduced to tears and everyone singing very intensely. They are starting to feel it, aren't they? The sharp potential for crushing defeat, the ever-brightening hope victory.
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