'American Idol': One Last Song Before I Go
Candice beat Kree last night on the penultimate episode of this, our 109th season of American Idol. But can she win?
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It's over. After all of that pain and struggle, all that we have endured, it's done. Randy Jackson has left the show. Ha, mean. I'm just kidding, Randy. But yes, the twelfth American Idol competition came to a close last night, a surprisingly rousing and spirited finale to a season that's been anything but.
Candice beat Kree last night on the penultimate episode of this, our 109th season of American Idol. But can she win?
Everyone was pretty certain that Thursday night's Final 3 results would play out a certain way. But no! A real humdinger of a shocker came bouncing through the Idoldome, briefly reinvigorating a tiresome season. Well played, American Idol.
The annual Top 3 of American Idol is always such a big episode, crowded as it is with the home visits and the producers' choice song and, of course, that ever-present feeling of the season being almost over. It's a good episode, and a lot of the singing last night was quite good, too, if you can believe. Let's discuss.
Well that's more like it. After last week's lamesville no-elimination cop out, Ryan Seacrest finally got to satisfy his insatiable bloodlust last night as a competitor was eliminated and the field was winnowed down to just three surviving souls.
Well, here we are again in the Final Four. It feels like we were just here. Oh, that's right, because we were. Because last week's dumdum elimination episode wasn't an elimination episode at all.
As far as useless episodes of American Idol go, and there is at least one a week, an elimination episode in which no one is eliminated ranks pretty high at the top of the list. Let's re-live the utter waste of everyone's time, shall we?
Will we miss Janelle? Probably not. It's hard to miss something that was barely there to begin with. What was Janelle, really?
Something was in the air on American Idol last night, some spirit of Idol seasons past that gave some of the contestants a little extra oomph, maybe even genuinely good, likable performances. Well, two, anyway. From the same person. But still.
Last night, after trotting out Carrie Underwood in some misguided attempt to remind us why we watch Idol in the first place, the awful, terrible, vain and aggravating Lazaro survived — either to keep us watching before he gets bumped off next week, or because this is really where America's at right now. Voting for dreadful Lazaro.
Of the many silly ways that Fox and the show's producers have tried to shake up this season of American Idol, last night's was maybe the silliest. But we must press on, so let's do just that.
Top 8? More like Bottom... everything. I'm afraid it happened last night, folks. The point that comes in every American Idol season, but usually arrives a little bit later. This is typically a Top 5 problem. But this year, it came at eight.
A dark day dawned on DisneyWorld, because its beloved son was dead, tossed carelessly into a Hollywood dumpster, left to molder amid the skeletons of so many singtestants before him. What I am saying to you, dear readers, is that Paul Jolley is gone.
So there are plenty of reasons for Idol to give up its Beatles-night theme. But they keep doing it. Because it's easy and somewhere a light snow of money falls on Paul McCartney. Oh, well. Let's talk about who did what.
And then there were nine. Only nine! We have miraculously reached the single-digits phase of America's longest and most punishing singing competition, and that is something to celebrate.
Last night America's top ten sang their goopy guts out on American Idol, the last place in America where cheesy is champion. Sure, Nicki Minaj was late, but who's really looking good in the race to who will probably, maybe, definitely win?
Congratulations, America. You have arrived at base camp two of your ascent to the top of Ryan Seacrest's Magic Mystery Mountain.
Welcome to the top 20! Well, OK, last night was the second night of the Top 20, but I was out sick yesterday so I didn't get a chance to write about the girls. Now, to paraphrase Ryan Seacrest, let's get to the boys!
Last night the second group of boys had their turn, opening their song holes and letting mellifluous sound come pouring out like gravy.
Round three of SUDDEN DEATH, the Idol brain trust's leanest, meanest invention since Clay Aiken with a hangover.
Like the girls before them, ten of the top twenty boys were brought before the judges last night, five of them to be raised up to the gleaming Valhalla of the semifinals stage, the other five to be cast into the gloomy oblivion of Tartarus.
Sudden death hits the Strip, and it's not so revolutionary as sad and wonderful — mostly sad, but still: We're getting to know everyone before the real competition begins.
Goodbye Hollywood! Idol's grueling second round of auditions ended last night, with twenty men and twenty women being chosen to march bravely to the front lines, where all but one of them will be shot to shreds and blown to smithereens.
We may all hate lists, but sometimes they are necessary. Here's a list of things from last night's Idol that we observed.
Finally we've arrived back in Hollywood, city of dreams and possibility. Yes, American Idol has entered the second phase of the season, when all the golden ticketed people descend on California like singing bugs.
In which Hollywood awaits, but not before puppets and ailments and bear hugs and — oh, yeah — a guest appearance by the ancient burl-witch Steven Tyler.
Oh, Idol! We are almost to the good part. Yes, last night we were gloriously informed that this week is the last of the auditions episodes, that long and frustrating Idol stretch when it feels like we are running in place.
Last night Ryan Seacrest got on his big, bejeweled fanboat and whirred on down to the bayou. American Idol was headed to Louisiana!
Last night the Idol wagon headed to Charlotte, bringing that sleepy Bank of America town its first bit of joy since the Hornets packed up and flew off. Though, sadly, it wasn't much joy.
Today we recap American Idol's second episode, a Chicago auditions installment that featured, among others, a terrible stutterer who sings like a dream.
American Idol is back on! Join us as we recap this season in song-based competition.
Well, dear friends, we have finally reached the end. Another season of hoax game show American Idol has reached its confetti conclusion and we are all the richer for it. Or we are at least not poorer. We are hopefully financially the same.
Last night was American Idol's sneak attack Tuesday night Finale Part One, a brisk and efficient hour that wasted very little time.
Fitting of the Top Three elimination night, exactly three things happened on American Idol last night. Let's discuss them and then go about the rest of our days, content in the knowledge that we have almost made it to the end of this life-changing journey.
Top 3! Home visits! Judges' Choice! Boy, we have almost reached the rickety end of this thing, haven't we? But we're not there yet. We're close, but we've no cigars. While we wait for the glorious, glitter-stained end, let's talk a little about what happened last night.
We are now two short weeks away from the end of this Idol madcappery, as the fourth place finisher was named last night and now only three remain.
As has been said before, democracy just doesn't work. It just doesn't.
Last night's American Tune Bag was a strangely dark episode, one full of angry songs and pained singing, a blast from the turbulent past that overcame our brave, noble tributes and reduced them to the small quivering children that they are at heart. Well, mostly. There was some good singing! But it all felt tinged with a bit of madness, didn't it?
Well, we are now down to the top 5! Which means we are so close I can almost taste the confetti.
Last night's Top Six episode of American Singing Competition began what I fear are the two or three most languid weeks of the season (other than auditions, naturally): The Top Six Creep really doesn't end until there are about three people left and the show starts to get exciting again.
Last night was, truly, the most shocking rose ceremony in Idol history.
What exactly was happening on American Idol last night? Didn't things seem off and strange?
OK, that was some hot chicanery on American Idol last night, was it not? That was some straight up flimflammery, a scam and a cheat and an ol' run-around. That was a scheme faker than a Jennifer Lopez song. We've been had, America. Hoodwinked and bamboozled.
There was nothing terribly adventurous about any of the singtestants' endeavors last night, but, you know, this really isn't a bad group. There are no true clunkers, which is a rare thing on American Idol these days. So thank god at least for that.
Another day, another Idol kid sent to the dustbin of pop culture history.
Last night was the 1980s music-themed episode of American Tune Farm, a vaguely depressing night always.
Another one bit the glorious glitter dust last night, amid all the usual pomp and questionable circumstance. It was actually a somewhat scary bottom three, which will be a more and more frequent occurrence as the weeks wear on and our tributes begin to suffer from exposure. It's a grim business!
Last night was a very emotional night at the ol' Idol song hut, with more than one tribute reduced to tears and everyone singing very intensely. They are starting to feel it, aren't they? The sharp potential for crushing defeat, the ever-brightening hope victory.
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