Mary-Kate Olsen is dating a Sarkozy, Paramount's got some big plans for fixing the new GI Joe, and Chris Matthews is now grandfather to a small baby.
Today: Katie Couric is of two minds when it comes to Snooki, there are conflicting reports about whether Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are moving in together, and Lil Wayne was denied access to last night Spurs/Thunder playoff game because he was ticketless.
Alec Baldwin is very sorry for saying something mean about Harvey Weinstein, more details on Bill Clinton's pornstar photo-op, and Charlie Sheen's collection of sports baubles may be expanding by one Super Bowl ring.
Bill Clinton got friendly with some porn stars last night in Monaco, Alec Baldwin may be getting married abroad, and Monaco's Prince Pierre Casiraghi details his wicked scar.
CNN wants Jake Tapper, another day, another masseur problem for John Travolta, and Angelina Jolie bought Brad Pitt a chopper.
The rap debut of Serena Williams, Johnny Depp denies split rumors, and Tim Tebow may be giving his dog a more New York-centric moniker.
Rihanna hasn't been feeling well, George Clooney will have his own security detail at his big fancy fundraiser for President Obama, and John Travolta's flight records contradict the claims of Anonymous Masseur 1.
Another anonymous masseur comes out of the woodwork with a story to tell about John Travolta, Sofia Vergara is single, and Pippa Middleton may soon be a New Yorker.
Today: Woody Allen and Lindsay Lohan get chummy, David Brooks departs Bethesda for D.C., and the Vogue editors will all be wearing pink tonight at the Costume Institute gala.
There's talk George Clooney's big fundraiser for President Obama could generate $12 million, the guy who sold "The Scream" and Neil Young conversed, and Mark Wahlberg denies he's getting artificially ripped for his new movie.
Reese Witherspoon's house lost the big Hollywood Obama fundraiser to George Clooney's house, Guy Fieri's canary yellow Lamborghini is found alive and well and surrounded by a motorcycle and gun possibly used in a drive-by shooting, and Amy Sacco and JD Samson had words.
Lindsay Lohan was a valuable photo-taking asset at the White House Correspondents' dinner, CNBC is worried about the state of Squawk Box and Closing Bell, and Questlove's baby gift to Jay-Z and Beyoncé comes up short.
Bret Easton Ellis hasn't forgotten witnessing a near-threesome with John Edwards mistress Rielle Hunter in the 1980s, Jennifer Aniston would just as soon not talk about Brad Pitt, and Calvin Klein's boyfriend does not attract a media circus en route to rehab.
Timothy Geithner's future, mapped out by his father-in-law, Prince Harry is going to be making a brief appearance in D.C. next month, and Jennifer Aniston's rep swears she isn't secretly scouting nice places to get married in Greece.
Jennifer Aniston is apparently planning a July wedding in Crete, someone or some car wrecked Mario Batali's Vespa, and Carey Mulligan ties the knot.
Charlize Theron is a busy lady, Jason Segel and Michelle Williams have that new couple glow, and Chris Christie explains what he was really doing when he fell asleep at a Bruce Springsteen concert.
Today: Fox News is reportedly close to extending the contracts of Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity, Mel Gibson's latest recorded diatribe is slightly less unsettling and nauseating than earlier ones, and James Cameron has a new space venture.
A poorly-timed snub of Sumner Redstone by Barbra Streisand, Gwyneth Paltrow rides .06 miles from drinks to dinner, and a "palace source" insists the President of the Philippines is not yet a single fella.
Beyoncé's very public intimate thank you to Michelle Obama, Michael Ovitz gets snubbed by an X17 captions writer, and Joss Whedon is still tinkering with The Avengers.
Courtney Love weighs in with an unlikely seeming accusation about Dave Grohl, Lindsay Lohan may not have been watching Homeland and not fighting last week, and Jon Huntsman isn't cutting enough checks.
The Boss makes Chris Christie very tired, George Clooney is putting together a big score for Obama, and Kanye West may not have been Kim Kardashian's first choice for the role of new pretend boyfriend.
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are officially inseparable, Mark Bellas engages in a hilariously public couple fight, and John Kerry got way too into opening day.
Three big names are reportedly departing SNL, Adrian Grenier has been banned from the Park Slope Food Coop, and Oprah just gives away her sweaty shoes, like that
Noah Baumbach and Greta Gerwig are on their way to being indie sweethearts, Rihanna's label isn't crazy about Chris Brown either, and Ashley Judd is having a nice week.
Anne Hathaway has been ordered to drop four dress sizes in less than three weeks, ABC is demanding changes to Madonna's racy new perfume ad, and George H.W. Bush went rogue after endorsing Mitt Romney.
Also: Miley Cyrus is not engaged, and her ring is just topaz.
Also: Prince Harry and his ex-girlfriend are speaking.
Karl Lagerfeld roasts Tina Brown, Jon Hamm is quite the photographer, and DSK was allegedly not a model orgy guest.
Also: Brett Ratner is in talks to botch the Midnight Run sequel.
Also: Gwyneth Paltrow insists she knows how to write a cookbook.
Today: Kate Middleton takes the field, George Clooney is planning to get arrested this morning, and Kate Couric's new show will debut on September 10.
Plus: who looked like "teeny as a human Q-Tip" at last night's White House dinner.
A third horse has died in connection with Luck, Barack Obama and David Cameron chowed down in Dayton, and Jason Sudeikis will now romance Olivia Wilde on-screen as well.
Gerard Butler hits the town, Prince Harry helped an injured polo player in Brazil Sunday, and Steve Wynn is not considered an ideal neighbor in fancy Manhattan co-ops.
The Artist's canine co-star will be attending next month's White House Correspondent's Dinner as a guest of the Washington Times, Woody Allen next movie might be set in Copenhagen, and Ruth Madoff is back in the tristate area.
Kris Humphries is now representing himself in divorce proceedings, Jessica Biel's engagement proves more spectacular than expected, and David Duchovny's lawyer isn't happy about his client being mentioned in a book about sex addiction.
The Mad Men star is not a fan of her ex-husband's jokes, a tennis pro claims Dennis Quaid absconded with his date on Valentine's Day, and Rihanna's dad wants his daughter to give Chris Brown another chance
Prince Harry, currently on a goodwill tour of the Carribean, is said to very interested in landing a date with Katy Perry, Tim Tebow denies he'll be The Bachelor, while the creator of The Bachelor goes back to bachelorhood.
The Duchess of Cambridge is speaking for the first time in public on March 19, more apologies for Sandra Fluke, and Russell Brand spent the weekend texting a lady he met on the street.
Pippa Middleton completed a 56-mile marathon ski race in Sweden and got a kiss for her trouble, Prince Harry is having a terrific time in the Bahamas, and Adele thinks her new place is haunted.
Despite audience requests in Georgetown, Channing Tatum did not remove his clothes to promote 21 Jump Street, Jeremy Lin likes smart women that wear sensible clothes, and all is not well at the Clinton Global Initiative.
Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck have had their third child, who doesn't have a name yet, but is likely to be down-to-earth and lovely, Snooki from Jersey Shore is pregnant and MTV isn't happy, and Jeremy Lin may popping up at Columbia this weekend.
Also: Alan Ball is stepping down as True Blood showrunner, the Stanley Cup is coming to Capitol Hill, and Sean Young's history of awards season mayhem.
Have a story we missed? A link we have to click? A sharp opinion about the news? Instead of waiting for us to post it, tell us on the Open Wire.Submit your news and ideas | See all reader posts